If you are mourning the loss of a parent, we continue to recite Kaddish f or eleven months and follow the traditional restrictions for the remainder of the mourning period. The rules for this are somewhat complicated and your Rabbi can best advise you as to your individual circumstance. Assisting with funeral preplanning is a specialty at Sinai Chapels.
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Planning in Advance. Pre-Planning a Jewish Funeral. A Guide to Jewish Funerals. The Funeral Service. Shiva begins immediately after the funeral. Traditionally, a mourner sits shiva for a parent, sibling, child or spouse.
Some families sit shiva for shorter periods of time, however. Jewish law stipulates that if a family is in financial distress, mourners can return to work after just three days. Learn more about work and shiva. When a yom tov, or Jewish holiday like Rosh Hashanah that is traditionally observed with restrictions similar to Shabbat restrictions like not driving or using electricity , falls fewer than seven days after the burial, the shiva period is shortened, ending with the holiday.
Shiva is not observed on Shabbat. Friends and family are expected to visit the mourner and provide food for him or her. Traditionally, three prayer services are conducted each day at the shiva house, with guests forming what is called a shiva minyan the prayer quorum of 10 adult Jews. Learn about the shiva minyan. In addition, there are some shiva customs unique to the Sephardic community.
Mourners are traditionally forbidden from working, shaving, bathing for pleasure, wearing leather shoes, having sex or cleaning their clothes during shiva.
They are also supposed to refrain from pleasurable activities like listening to music, watching movies or other entertainment, or going to parties or other festive gatherings.
Shiva is a time to reminisce, remember, and recapture memories of a loved one. As such, a focus of a condolence call is to listen to those memories that the mourner wishes to share or to talk about other subjects initiated by the mourner that may have nothing to do with his or her loss.
Shiva condolence calls do not need to be longer than 30 minutes. Supporting, listening, and responding to the mourner are primary goals. Except for food, it is not customary to bring anything to the house of mourning. Again, just being present is the main objective. It directs that the first meal after burial of a loved one must be provided by friends.
The meal prepared by neighbors, relatives, and fellow congregants thus helps the mourner begin to accept life again. The traditional meal of comfort usually includes lentils, hard-boiled eggs, and bread — all foods that in Judaism are associated with life.
Often, this meal is a dairy meal if the family keeps kosher. Eggs are an obvious symbol of life. At the seder table on Passover , a joyous occasion, they are dipped in salt water to acknowledge that life sometimes brings tears and pain.
Bread is the staff of life in Judaism and, indeed, in virtually every major faith and culture. At a time of mourning, it is especially appropriate. In fact, one Talmudic passage infers that it is praiseworthy for friends to provide mourners with wine. The meal of consolation is a mitzvah a sacred obligation , not in any way a social event. It is considered an act of great caring to free the family from everyday concerns during shiva.
The beginning of shiva also offers friends an opportunity to express their sympathy through visits to the home. At the same time, those in mourning initiate a process that will ultimately lead them back to the world. This process involves many customs with a twin rationale: acceptance of death and a determination to return to life.
It is customary for a daily service, known as a shiva minyan, to be held usually in the late afternoon or early evening. This brief service allows the mourners to recite the Kaddish , the prayer recited in memory of the deceased.
This can also be a time for publicly sharing memories of the deceased. Sometimes, the mourners gather together for a meal following the brief service. Since Jewish law prohibits sitting shiva on Shabbat, most people do not receive visitors during Shabbat sundown on Friday until sundown on Saturday. Sign In Not Registered? Create an Account Approved Provider? Sign In Here. Learn Plan Send. Search Articles, Baskets, Shivas.
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